October 30,2010 Ramblins'

Poor Meetings = Empty Seats

After attending several network marking meeting recently I had to write what was on my mind.

Give What you're Asking For & More!
 by: Edward V Ellis, Sr.

Have you ever stopped and really considered what you're asking from your audience? Quite frankly, we expect a lot from them. The fact we put such a heavy burden on our audience actually impedes our ability to be an effective communicator.

For example, even in a simple conversation, you're asking your audience to:

· Give you their time

· Pay attention · Be interested in your message

· Be an active participant in the conversation

· Receive and process new information in real time

· Care about you and your message

I think that by asking for so much we set ourselves up for failure and disappointment. Too often we adopt a 'me talk, you listen' communication style and we speak at our audience instead of speaking with them. Unfortunately this style puts the onus on our audience to receive and understand our message.

Here is simple but effective strategy from the entertainment stage that will help you achieve the 3R's with your audience - rapport, relationship & results.

Give your audience everything that you are asking from them. You want their time. Be a 100% in the now and give them your undivided time and focus.

You want their attention and interest. Give them your complete attention and deliver an interesting and compelling message.

You want your audience to be passionate and enthusiastic. Give them a reason to be so. Touch their heart by delivering a message that ignites their passion and enthusiasm.

You want your audience to care about you and your message. Give your audience something to care about. You have to care about yourself, your message and your audience before they will care about you.

It's all about your audience but it up to you to make it happen. Entertainers learn that the audience takes their cue about how to respond from them. Think of it like a boomerang. You get back whatever you send out.

I like to think of communication not as a process of 'give and take' but one of 'give, give and give some more'.

This approach helps you clarify your communications objective. This approach is successful because it sets the stage for effective communication.

It enhances your ability to succeed because:

1. It helps you become aware of and appreciative what you are asking of your audience.

2. By acknowledging their participation you foster rapport.

3. Demonstrating your awareness of and interest in their needs helps develop a trust and reciprocity-based relationship.

4. A positive relationship sets the stage for effective communication.

5. You can only achieve results if you are heard and understood.

The bottom line is that we get what we give. The more we give the more we get. 

Motivation to A Better Life
Is At Hand

 by: Edward V Ellis, Sr

You may have a goal that is tugging at your heart, but despite your everyday tasks and issues, you never seem to find the time to tackle the steps to get you down that path. Do not give up! Many times you may be led towards doing things that will take up your time, but will not empower you to find time to move towards a better you!

It comes up often if you are working full time and as well raising kids. They are constantly needful of your time and attention, and will be a very positive form of assistance if you let them. If your kids are in school, you are in luck. Children who are in school are getting a beginning taste of how life can be better, and even more functional with learning new ideas. They understand that a new path in life starts with new knowledge.

If you are tackling your goal to learn a new skill or profession, involve your children. They often can be very interested in your study, and can be a real open door for your problem solving skills as well. You may be surprised how quickly they pick up new skills, as you involve them with your process. There are things you can do with them, and that will enrich you as well as them.

As you take time to learn your new skill, be sure to not allow yourself to become distracted. It is important to have a day to relax and motivate yourself with simple quiet days, but take some time during the day, to bring your mind back to your studies or research for one hour. You can really problem solve these thoughts quickly when you are having a down day, and then the next time you really dedicate yourself to your tasks, you may find it easier to move forward.

An important thing to remember during your process as you grow with your new skill sets, is that you say no to new endeavors, so that you do not stretch yourself too thin. Many people today, are simply committing to too many activities and social events. It is important to stay connected, as we find strength in our social settings, but you do not have to be at every event. During your process to evolve into a new profession, a new lifestyle, you need to be kind to yourself, and let things happen at your own pace.

Do not expect immediate results, and let yourself learn. Your kids will be following your path as well, and as they watch you break down the barriers that you have built around you, or that are pushed in front you, they will see that these obstacles are not to be feared.

You can become the best person you know you already are! It is important for you to find the right information, to evolve your new mindset in a way that can be effective, and let your mind be open to these new ideas. Continue your path, commit to the change, and follow the steps one by one to a successful new you!

In Dreams I Walk

by: Edward V Ellis, Sr Not sure of anyone else, but my happy self wants, needs, and loves to dream. There are million, places, and things to dream of. Its absolutely wonderful to find a nice peaceful spot, and allow our mind to romp through the pages of antiquity and on into future tales of unsuspecting adventures - for it is those misty clouds of possibilities where we mortal souls will devoid ourselves of all the negatives, transpose ourselves into anywhere we wish, and look forward to the experiences that linger where we have never been before. Our fantasies can picture us of becoming a famous and fantastic dancer, and gliding over clouds of lightness...of becoming a professional poet, and inspiring others to fulfill their dreams of flight...of being a scientist, and discovering new methods of accomplishing our goals...of just relaxing and inhaling the twinkling stars...of listening to a raindrop fall, and hear its solitude...of watching smoke rise, and understand obscurity...listening to a snowflake fall, and comprehend peace...of suddenly realizing that our minds are the final frontier...of making new good friends, so we will experience loneliness less...of being a doctor, and healing mankind...of knowing that serendipity ceases, when our thoughts stop. We can dream of going to a beach, lay on the sands of time, and wonder what secrets the ocean hides...of traveling through a worm-hole, and discovering a new dimension...of strolling through a forest, and discovering solitude...of being a hurricane, and swirling through the galaxy...of realizing that crying and laughing heals the heart and the soul...of being aware of the tremendous power or faith in ourselves...of having the courage to kneel and help a child...of the fantastic inner strength of asking for help when we need it...of realizing that the more we learn, the more interesting we are to others...of standing on the edge of the universe, and watching it evolve...of being the sun, and warming our beautiful Blue Marble...of being the moon, and stirring the seeds of love on a warm summer night...of being a motivator, and inspiring passion...of prevailing over adversity, and amplifying comprehension in others. Or perhaps, we may wish to dream of expanding our imagination, and let it transport us to the galactic core...of realizing that beyond the seas are new lands to explore...beyond the mountains are new friends to make...beyond our fears unfolds a new life...beyond curiosity is the flight of excitement...beyond the fears of the problems are the solutions...beyond stubbornness is the power to be humble...beyond a raging storm is a warm summer day...beyond a vehicle is a starship...of knowing that ignoring fear is to cause its death...of knowing you would march into hell itself for your family...to converse with the stars on a crisp clear night, and hearing the answer to your prayers...of realizing that you can defeat loneliness with enthusiasm...of finding a mysterious new love in a far-away place. There are those of us who may prefer to dream of gallivanting around within our bodacious bodies and discovering the veins of life that flow... how our skin stretches...how the heart can pump 12,000 miles of blood through the veins... how our lungs can expand when we inhale the life-giving air... how all of the creepy things in and on our skin covered "bags of mostly water" (us humanoids) can exist, and realize that without them, we would die...discover the tremendous power of the one billion cells in our brain, and how the axions and dentrites send and receive all of our thoughts through electrical and chemical activated synaptic connections...of fully realizing how one microscopic cell can multiply exponentially, and how each new cell knows where to go, and what to do when it gets there. Maybe we would enjoy listening to our hearts, and understand our children's...of listening to a flower grow, and evermore understand patience...of listening to a soft wind blow, and hear nature sing...of listening to leaves tumble, and hear them fall...of listening to a raindrop drip, and hear solitude ring...of listening to a river flow, and hear pure isolation...of listening to the sun shine, and hear our life's pulse...of listening to the ocean's roar, and hear antiquity...of listening to a butterfly's wings, and know determination...of listening to our dreams, and harken to a whole new life. Dreaming on the shores of our own private universe not only invigorates our meandering minds and our benefiting bodies, it can also give us a whole new outlook on life itself - maybe instilling in us a new idea, a new and better way to change ourselves for the better, motivate us to become far better off then we are now, and allowing us to understand our children and ourselves more. Dreaming can also cause us to enjoy more pleasures in life, such as strolling through the mud in a summer rain, enjoying a field of lightning bugs on a warm summer night, writing poetry for the ones we love, or just singing in a warm shower after a long day's work. But the most over-riding and powerful benefit of dreaming is realizing that if we truly wish, we can fulfill most of our dreams! Imagine what you can do next!

SMART Goals By Edward V Ellis, Sr.

Instead of a book this week, my travels have pointed out that Goal Setting is becoming a lost art, like handwriting and conversation. With that in mind I decided to a brief but direct write up on goals... Smart Goals to be exact, hope you fid it helpful.   Summary:  A big part of planning your schedule and to-do list should be goal setting. If you don't know what your goals are in life, you cannot set priorities. If you can't set your priorities, how do you know what you need to do? Having a plan can save lots of time because you focus on what's important to you. Goals break down into Projects which bread down into "To-Dos". Specific-describe the goal in specific terms so there is no confusion as to what needs to be accomplished. Give as much detail as you require. Measurable-the goal should be in measurable terms. "Increase family time from 1 hour per day to 2 hour per day..." Or something that measures when the goal is completed. "Study until you can answer the questions for chapter 3 from memory..." Attainable-make the goal something you can achieve. Don't set it so high that you don't believe in it, or will never reach it or have an excuse not to attain it. Relevant-be sure the goal fits in with your beliefs, schedule, dreams, goals, etc. It should be relevant to getting you to where you want to go, not something frivolous or unnecessary. Timely-give a date and/or time to the goal.  "...by the end of the day Wednesday."  Be sure the goal fits in with other goals in regards to its completion date/time.  Be realistic. * SMART goals have been quoted so many times that there are several translations for the acronym, especially for the A and the R. All are good: Achievable, Attainable, Actionable, Reachable, Relevant, Realistic.